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On today’s show, we’re digging into these stories:
1. A federal judge ordered the US Postal Service to reboot its services back to July.
2. The president will be launching the “1776 Commission” to finally teach kids that the US has never done anything wrong in its life ever.
3. Paris Hilton is using her real voice from now on. And we made the horrible mistake of asking you, the audience, what’s in Red Lobster’s Mountain Dew Margarita. Ugh.
4. And, America’s favorite divorced couple Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston shared the most awkward scene possible during a charity table read, with an assist from none other than Morgan Freeman.