An American man is being slammed on social media after admitting he stormed out on his wife immediately after hearing her cancer diagnosis — because he was angry at her for not having kids sooner, like he wanted.
The 33-year-old man shared his story on Reddit, explaining that a doctor recently told his 32-year-old wife that she has ovarian cancer and will need a hysterectomy.
But rather than comfort his wife, the man said he was so ‘disappointed’ that they won’t have biological children — something he wanted to do years earlier, but they’d postponed because of his wife’s career — that he left her and checked into a hotel.
Rude: An American man is being slammed on social media after admitting he stormed out on his wife immediately after hearing her cancer diagnosis (stock image)
The Redditor said that on Friday, he got a call that his wife was in the ER, where she had gone complaining of pelvic pain. He was out of town, and by the time he got there on Saturday, the doctor had some news.
‘He takes a deep breath and said that from the transvaginal ultrasound and CT scan results, she has ovarian cancer,’ he wrote.
‘My wife starts sobbing, but at first I stay still because I don’t even know what to make of it.
‘My wife asks what that means for her and he says that she’ll likely at least need a full hysterectomy, and they’d have to remove the Fallopian tubes as well as the ovaries.’
The man said that this news ‘jolted me from my chair’.
‘The doctor was effectively telling me that she wouldn’t be able to have kids after this, and after years of work, I thought we’d finally have a family.
‘I’m overwhelmed with emotions of anger, not just anger at the disease, but pent up anger form the fact that I had begged her to have kids since we were 26, but she refused for her career,’ he complained.
Me, me, me! The man said he’d ‘begged her to have kids since we were 26, but she refused for her career’ and now he was so ‘disappointed’ and ‘angry’
‘And now instead of becoming a real family, I didn’t even know if she would remain the woman I married, whether the last picture of us together would be last time I’d remember her looking beautiful, young, and carefree. Because the wife I as in front of me was already a different person.’
His wife was ready to reassure him, taking his hand and telling him they’d adopt — but the man wasn’t having it, and turned around to walk out the door.
‘I still had my suitcase in the car so I drove to a hotel because I didn’t know if my wife was going to end up being discharged or what. At the hotel I was at least able to get out of reactive mode, but I was still so disappointed that our dream of a family was over,’ he said.
Now, though, their marriage might be over: The man said his mother-in-law said that he should stay away, indicating that his wife was furious.
‘I admit i[I walked out] on impulse but this diagnosis just sliced my life and my wife’s life wide open,’ he said.
‘I wasn’t going to expel the cancer if I stayed that night but I did at least make myself aware of my situation. And I feel I have a right to be angry that my hope of biological kids, the only kind I ever wanted, is rapidly fading away.’
Disgusting: Social media users are horrified by the man’s behavior
The post has quickly gone viral, with social media users calling the man out.
‘Your wife deserves far better than you,’ chided one Redditor. ‘This is not about you or your feelings. No one preempts cancer. No woman should be forced to have children earlier than she’s ready to just to fit into someone else’s grand master plan. The fact that you don’t see her as the person you married when she is more than just an incubator and a baby making machine is deeply troubling.
‘All your wife seems to be is an incubator. You have no regards for her feelings and abandoned her at the worst moment,’ said another.
‘Ovarian cancer can be deadly. Your wife was lying there in pain, terrified, fearing for her life and probably also mourning the loss of being able to carry a child and needing you more than anything. And what do you do? Leave,’ said yet another.
‘Way to make your wife’s life-changing diagnosis all about you,’ one more chimed in.
On Twitter, Jill Filipovic wrote: ‘I think I have found the biggest a**hole in the history of AITA. I just… have no words.’
‘My god he is going to start a whole new family and be the WORST FATHER OF ALL TIME and 25 years from he is going to post a follow-up AITA about how his dumb kids won’t talk to him,’ wrote another Twitter user.
Yet another called the post ‘seriously dark and horrifying.’
Some commenters, however, have expressed doubt over the veracity of the story, arguing that the way the man says his wife was diagnosed doesn’t make sense.
‘You don’t get a cancer diagnosis like this,’ one RN said. ‘A CT can show a mass, but it’s just that… A mass on a CT. You need biopsy and staging, none of which happen in an ER.’