I've Never Seen "The Vampire Diaries," So I Just Ranked The Characters Based Only On Their Names And Pictures

Elena Gilbert sounds like a fake American name, and she’s very pretty, obviously, but the name “Elena Gilbert” is too obviously written from someone’s mind for me to get past.

Two names, one for each shirt. But it’s all boring. Actually, it’s three shirts!!!

There isn’t much to say about someone named “Liz Forbes.” Congrats on having a name, I guess.

“Is her shirt red because she’s a more violent version of Elena Gilbert?”–Melena Dilbert.

This name and picture are trying so hard to have money and to have that be the character’s thing – look at the hair.

I like her vibe, and I like the name, but there’s nothing to laugh at here, and therefore I like Bonnie Bennett less than the following characters.

The spelling of Sommers makes me uncomfortable, and she’s wearing a necklace from Limited Too.

I like the name Matt Donovan and he’s the actor from a bunch of things but I don’t know who he is.

I won’t remember anything about the name or the photo.

While it makes sense that a character named Amara would wear lipstick that kind of matches her top, “I don’t believe that she’s actually living in a purely black void.” –Melena Dilbert.

Jeremy Gilbert is a funny name. “They just looked at a bunch of headshots and found the guy that looked like a Jeremy Gilbert.” –Melena Dilbert.

He’s cute but he looks like a teddy bear that’s Pinnochio-ed. Also, Silas is a dumb name to have with no last name.

“I hope nobody tells Keanu Reeves about Tyler Lockwood.” –Melena Dilbert.

A necklace under the shirt screams “Klaus Mikaelson” to me. “I wish I had that confidence in high school.” –Melena Dilbert.

“He dresses like this because he’s the heir to the Maxwell house coffee fortune.” –Melena Dilbert.

This face isn’t an Ambrose at all, it’s more of a…

“Stefan Salvatore” is a bonkers name for a human person. “The name of a person who’s trying to convince you they’re human.” –Melena Dilbert.

I would take a gander that his hair is not washed in this photo, which, to be fair, is consistent with the name Damon Salvatore.

“Will his Uncle Vinny ever be proud of him.” –Melena Dilbert.

It’s Warner from Legally Blonde! Playing a guy named Alaric Saltzman! I rest my case.