A British mother-to-be has told how she broke up with her partner after he pressured her to sell the flat she had bought with her own money.
The anonymous woman, who admitted she had bought the flat using money she had saved while working as a stripper, shared her story on the Reddit forum Am I The A******.
She explained the boyfriend, with whom she had been together for 18 months, did not want to live in the three-bedroom flat because he was ashamed of how she was able to finance it.
She went on to add that the couple have since separated and are in talks about the custody of their unborn child.
A British mother-to-be has told how she broke up with her partner after he pressured her to sell the flat she had bought with her own ‘stripper money.’ Pictured, stock image
In the original post, the woman penned: ‘For several years I was a stripper. I have no shame about what I did, and only quit when I got a better job offer.’
‘Before I “retired”, I managed to outright buy myself a three-bedroom flat. I rented out the other rooms for a while but I got sick of having roommates, so now I have them up online for shorter stays, but not to rent.
‘I met this guy about 18 months ago, and we’ve been together since. He knows about my employment history, and he said that he has no issue with it, though he did ask me to tell his family the white lie I occasionally use (on my CV and stuff), which is that I was a waitress (which I kind of was tbf).’
However, the couple’s understanding about the flat soon changed when the former stripper found out she was expecting.
‘A month ago we found out that I’m 2 months pregnant. He says this is great news, and we should move in together,’ she continued. ‘I assumed he’d be moving into my place because he rents his (far smaller 1 bedroom) flat while I own mine, and I have room for a baby’s room while he doesn’t.’
‘However, he then said that he didn’t want to move into my place, and said I should sell it and we buy a place together. I said that I like my place, it means a lot to me that I was able to buy it, and it represents years of working my a*** off scrimping and saving.’
The woman shared an update and a recap of her story on Reddit, explaining her boyfriend did not want to live in her apartment because she had bought it with ‘stripper money’
The woman went on to explain that her boyfriend admitted he did not want to live there because he ‘didn’t want to live in a flat that was bought with “stripper money”.’
She continued: ‘He said that his point is if I sold the flat then we could get a new place with the money from the sale. I said “wouldn’t that still be stripper money?” and he said “that’s different”, and I asked how. He then said he was going back to his place because, “I can’t talk to you when you’re in this state.’
The woman, who revealed her sister had sided with the boyfriend in the row, added that she wasn’t sure if she was in the wrong because she could understand why he might’ve felt like it was just her place.
But in a more recent update, the mother-to-be announced the couple have separated and their issue has moved on to the custody of their unborn child.
People felt strongly the woman had made the right decision by leaving her partner, and would be better off raising the child alone
‘I dumped him. He initially said that he doesn’t want to be a parent if we’re not a couple, but earlier this week he told me he wants majority custody so not only does he not have to pay child support, but if he gets majority then I end up paying him (he actually said that was his reasoning),’ she claimed.
‘He also runs his own startup, and admitted the startup is basically done for, and he was hoping that when I sold my place I could also put a cash injection into his business with the money, so basically this was all about money for him.’
People felt strongly about the former stripper’s story, with many saying the ex-boyfriend was showcasing possible abusive behaviour and was not being realistic.
‘Selling a house during a pandemic isn’t thinking realistically. You could take a bath on your investment. Saying the money isn’t “stripper money” after selling your flat isn’t logical. NTA, this guy sucks I’m sorry OP,’ commented one.
People said the man was basing his arguments on emotion and was trying to control his girlfriend now that she was pregnant
A second wrote: ‘Also his argument is all emotion. The flat sounds awesome, and he wants to get rid of it just because he’s uncomfortable with his gf earning the funds for it all on her own through a “sexy” job,’ while a third penned:
‘This sort of “my arguments are rational (and thus right) and yours are emotional” s*** is pure gaslighting, he’s just trying to shut down opposition via manipulation.’
A fourth added: ‘”I can’t talk to you when you’re in that state” – yeah, “that state” meaning “not agreeing with me and instead posing reasonable arguments against my stance. It’s ducked up.’
Meanwhile, a further wrote: ‘Yea this is definitely someone becoming abusive when their partner becomes pregnant. Right now it’s financial abuse and emotional abuse but it could very easily escalate.’
Others pointed out the woman would be better off raising the child alone than with a toxic partner.
‘Babies need a complete family. A complete family is people who love and care for the baby. The # of ppl don’t matter. The DNA relationship of those ppl to the baby doesn’t matter. The relationship status of those people don’t matter,’ wrote one.
A second added: ‘Research has shown it’s better for children to have a happy, healthy “broken” family than an angry, toxic “complete” family.’